Ko Phagan Travel Story through the Islands of Thailand

Just what we wanted, I thought. I couldn't help myself striping off to my shorts and going for a swim, stu followed.

The water is warm and welcoming nothing like the North Sea, black and cold. I swam about in this tranquil water for a while but decide to look for a place and left Stuart to it. I walked along the beach asking in every pub and believe me that is difficult when they only speak a bit of English and with a Scottish assent it make it twice as hard.

I found a place for 150 baht a night. It would mean me and stu would have to share a double bed, but hell that's 75 baht each a night with an ensite.

I go get Stuart and ask him to come and have a look. He gives me a grunt like I'm asking him to hit himself on the head with bat, I swear what's he like. He gets out the water and we go have a look at the room. Not the Hilton but a big bed, some room round the side and a toilet through the back. There's a fan at least to keep us cool so I'm happy, I think stu likes it but fuck knows with that grumpy little shite, never the less we take the room and book it for two days time.

We get back on our hogs and head for some more site seeing. God I fuckin love these scooters. On the island we wore no safety clothes or helmets and having never been on any motorbike it was a truly remarkable way to travel. When you're firing down the road at 80 km/hr, there's nothing like it.

Are next stop is in the centre of the island where there is a waterfall and a Chinese temple.

First stop is the waterfall, are second of the day and the first was more of a waterslow so we're hoping for a bit more. Theirs about 2 km ride on a tarmac road then 3 km up a mud road. We park our hogs, as I've taken to calling them. We walk further 500 m to the supposed falls. It's fuckin wonder to me why they put these dam things on their maps. I try to make the most of it, climb down the rocks and wait to take a photo of stu as he follows me, hoping he'll fall and I'll catch it, For once the clumsy bustard is sure footed, I take a photo anyway. We climb back up and walk back to our hogs. Both agreeing this temple better be good. I accelerate up to 80 km/hr as soon as possible leaving Stuart in my dust.

Its one hell of a feeling, out on a bike with just a pair of shorts on, everyone should try it. Even square bustards like my mate Colin. He was here a year ago. I've taken all this travelling tips, his git will plan everything even down to his salt intake by the gain. We arrive at the temple.

Its marvellous, bright colours everywhere, red, green, gold, yellow and blue. A Buddha at the centre of this grand structure. And at the very top, standing high in the hills, a fat, smiling Buddha under a red tiled roof, there's a peaceful look out over the jungle and at the end the sea, you can see for miles. This Buddha had a brilliant view.

After we head back to our rooms in the south-east near hat-rin (party central). It's about 5 mins in our hogs. I tell stu before we leave the temple that I'm going to stop off and check my emails, he's going to ride around for a bit then meet me at our room.

I sent a couple of emails as I'm pretty excited about my bike trip, but fuck the temple and waterfalls, the bikes kick ass. Thing is though most of my friends prob don't give a fuck, but fuck them I don't care just want to tell someone.

I buy some fags, water, juice and some other stuff and get back on my hog. Feelin a bit cocky on my bike, I start it up and try to get on the move but my excitement gets the better of me and I lose control from stationary and hit a bike that parked in front of me, both bikes fall over. Everybody standing outside the shops, on the phone and in the internet caf look at me as I'm picking up the bikes. I shout it had to happen sooner or later!' laughing, but no cunt says a word not even a cheer, like when you drop a plate in school canteen. Bunch of sad wanks, fuckin travellers. All so righteous and far out. I get back on my hog and speed away, swearing under my breath. But fuck it I'm on holiday and a smile soon returns to my face. I think to myself I won't be sending this in an email.

No sign of Stuart when a return.